Verbatim Conversations With My Sister #1

Her: Did you know there are gluten-free chocolate chip cookies right through that door?

Me: I did not know that!

Her: You should go find out!  And bring me one while you're at it.

Me: But I'm not hungry at all.  You should get your own cookie.

Her: Don't tell me what to do! *laughs*

So much potassium.

When I was really young, back when my brother and I used to share a room, he used to talk in his sleep.  It was infrequent, occasionally memorable, and often having to do with him having ingested dairy.  My older brother, you see, was so lactose intolerant that he would actually hallucinate.  He used to see stuff that wasn't there, on a very very regular basis.  I think I was about four or five, for this particular instance.

He started doing this, "Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh..."  Slowly getting louder and louder.

I woke up right away.  You become a light sleeper when you share a room with an older brother who considers you a convenient source of entertainment.

I sat and watched, entranced, as his volume increased to the point that he woke up mom and dad, in the room next to ours.  They appeared in the doorway, in their pyjamas with a look of concern that soon faded into incredulity and hilarity, mixed roughly evenly.

"Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh..."  For two solid minutes.  Louder and louder.  "Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh!"  Louder and louder.  "BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH!"  At the very top of his lungs.  "BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BANANA!"

He bolted upright in bed to shout banana, and fell back immediately afterwards.  Just *wham* BANANA *bam*, asleep.  


We died a little.  Bricks were shat.