Laced With Vague Annoyance

Whoever it was that managed to get shoelaces changed on the vast majority of shoes from flat and willing to stay tied into round little Che Guevaras of shoelace independence, I hate your face. I hate you in the face, and I have done so since that first pair of round-shoelaced shoes that refused to stay tied when I was an annoying little pubescent thing. You raised my pudgy thirteen-year old self’s ire that day, and it has continued to this day (though I am markedly less pudgy and also less thirteen).  Why should I have to spend extra money on functional foot-strings if I don't want to stop to tie the preexisting strings at an increased rate?  Fail.  Blah.